SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES (Buckets of Blood class: Classical Cultist)

When you embark on a B-movie horror road trip, all sort of bad things are inevitably going to try and eat you. Why wait for them to get hungry? check the stars, consult dubious medieval manuscripts about demons, and strap a noisy neighbor to an improvised sacrificial altar, ’cause you obviously can’t beat the dark forces of the universe…

Credit: Cosimo Galluzzi

(this is written in GLOD {Goblins Laws of gaming in the Dark}, which uses Threat as a catch-all term for how tough the opposition to the PC is. Roughly, you need Threat+1 rolls to deal with a problem, unless you have some clever plan. To convert to normal GLOG – double Threat to get HD, and attack of Threat deals about [Threat]d6 points of damage)

+1 Acolyte and Ritual per Template
Starting Items: Sleek Suit, Suspectable Certificate, Slimy Serum.
Starting Skills: 1) Drugs 2) Preaching 3) Cleaning 4) Esoteric Texts

A: Magnetic Personality, Dark Ritual
B: Soul Searching
C: One with the Dark
D: Pyramid Doctrine

Magnetic Personality
You can easily get up to [Templates] eager Acolytes in a weekend of door knocking and nice diners. You’ll be surprised how many people will happily murder their neighbors. Acolytes have moral of [Templates]*3 , 0 Threat, and are generally up for shady gatherings, perfect crimes, ritualistic murder and very little else.

Dark Ritual
If you gather your Acolytes and ritually murder a person (must be a person, don’t have to be a good person) after a ceremony of [Acolytes] hours, roll [Acolytes]d6 and mark it as your Favor (If you already have higher Favor, keep it – apparently your ritual was shit and the dark powers cared even less then usual). You can later perform Rituals by chanting for about a minute and rolling as many dice as you want and subtracting their [sum] from your current Favor. If you go negative, add the excess to your Ruin. Ruin effects are cumulative:

Ruin 1your nails are Threat 1 weapons, long and monstrous
Ruin 5You become a withering mass of tentacles under your cloak, which tend to make people rather concerned. You can make Threat [Templates*2] melee attack with your tentacles for 1 Ruin
Ruin 9Your eyes become black as night, and you can make people dazed by locking eyes with them while they are off guard. People on TV are clearly watching you and commenting on your bad life decisions, and after about 10 minutes of watching TV any of your Acolytes will reveal themself to be undercover stuntman (Threat 2, many limbed, glitching, shapeshifting, laser eyes) and try to kill you
Ruin 13Each week at Friday noon a perfect copy of you materialize out of the nearest TV with [Ruin] stuntmans and set forth to kill you and your friends.
Ruin 23Whenever you step under the open sky at day, a tractor beam catch you up and take you away to horizons unknown. At night, its a huge tentacle instead. If you try to fight either, treat it as Threat 10
What do stuntmen looks like under their skinsuits?
It’s hard to tell, but here is a good guess from Cosimo Galluzzi

Soul Searching
You can see if someone has a soul, and if it’s theirs, by looking at them in the eyes. You can also see the spirits of the dead, secret messages on TV, invisible monsters and the like. If something is not a person but have a soul of one, you can now ritualistically murder it as if it was a person.

One with the Dark
Monsters and government agents instinctively treat you as one of them, and you can always speak their language, no matter how arcane . This doesn’t guarantee friendliness, but can always buy you at least a short conversation before they get to the eating you and\or locking you up part.

Pyramid Doctrine
Your Acolytes are now level 1 Classical Cultist, and can get Acolytes for themself! They can gather one Acolyte each when you do, which can also gather one each when they do, ed infinitum. Government agencies tend to notice when cults go exponential and react with extreme prejudice.


  1. Dark Delivery – In about 10-[sum] minutes, unassuming delivery men(?) deliver to your current position up to [dice] unlabeled everyday objects you could conceivably find in a grocery store. If the objects are organic, they must be eaten until midnight or the delivery men(?) will come to take you instead.
    3 [dice]: The men(?) can deliver one(1) person instead.
    4 [dice]: The men(?) can deliver a specific person.
    Persons tend to be organic.
  2. Yellow Sign – you create a memetic agent capable of mimicking any medium of communication, usually fooling any observer without magical senses, though you might nudge the victims to interpret it correctly. Can work on the internet or live TV, but doing so cost extra [dice]d4 Ruin as the things that take watch notice your meddling. you retain control of the meaning of the Sigh for up to [dice] days, after which you better burn it, or expect it to wreck absolute havoc.
    1 [dice]: The Sigh is a short scribble, can pass as any note, signature, or certificate. Good for FBI impersonations.
    2 [dice]: The Sigh can take a size of about A3 sheet. Good for breathtaking art, official documents, or chilling evidence.
    3 [dice]: The Sigh is good for a wall or short notebook. Work as a graffiti, proof of your literary genius, or convincing someone you know about them absolutely EVERYTHING.
    4 [dice]: you may write a play that, if performed in front of innocent audience of at least [sum] persons, is able to alter the fabric of reality. The depicted events will slowly manifest in reality in strange ways of the course of coming days and weeks. Also, inevitably, d12 of the audience will become Classical Cultists, Vigilantes, or heaven forbid Dabbler Cultist hellbent on destroying you, so murdering the whole audience after the show is customary.
  3. Curse House – A closed space becomes eldritch and wicked, spawning monsters out of pseudo existing crawlspace. You do not control those monsters, and must be inside to cast it. Choose [dice+1] options (can take options multiple times, but you must choose some monsters):
    א. [dice+1] Threat monster, re-spawning every week.
    ב. [sum] Threat 0 monsters, re-spawning every day.
    ג. persons coming inside the house cannot exit it until they confronted and survived an encounter with every single monster type (and you, if you’re still inside).
    ד. add [sum] rooms to the house.
  4. Wish Engine – You chant prayer to the wrong kind of gods, and someone makes a wish. It will come true in the worst possible way. If they suspect you, they can save to not make a wish instead. Choose [dice] options:
    א. The wish benefit you indirectly (else it might fuck you up as well). Choose twice – it benefit you directly and handsomely, you can practically dictate the terms.
    ב. The wish will probably kill the victim or drive them too insane to do much (else they will be miserable but functional, and hate you). Choose twice – they need to save or attract to you after their ordeal and serve you as Acolyte.
    ג. You can make your own wish come true. Choose twice – the horrible Threat 7 monster that will make your wish come true only want you dead or broken, and not all your friends as well.
  5. Mirror Edge – You can pull out of any large enough reflective surface up to [sum] temporary Acolytes, which are rather average at most stuff but are actually rather decent at parkour. They stick around up until dawn\sunset, which makes them melt horribly into quicksilver puddles while screaming and cursing your name. With 4 dice, you can pull out your own reflection, which have all your powers and knowledge and is only 1 in 6 chance to try to kill and replace you at opportunistic moment (if it does, just keep playing as it, maybe with class change).
  6. Star Alignment – Wake up ancient evil of [dice+1]^2 Threat, or [dice+1]^3 Threat if you are in a place of mythical or national significance (where the more powerful ones tend to lurk). It’s completely immune to conventional weaponry (though size weapons might slow it) and it will try to eat you first, so you better have some escape plan, but you can name the thing it will destroy second should you escape hard enough. It takes about [sum]^2 minutes in which various local protection measures will try to stop you, but your Acolytes will die to protect you as long as you keep chanting, so you should play them while doing the ritual.

Guide Tool – ritualistic murder complications table

d6Ritualistic Murder Complications
1A neighbor come to ask to turn down the volume \ some salt and milk.
(1 in 6 to be a government agent)
2One of your Acolytes really need to go and pick up their child to see a movie, you can do without them for an hour, right?
3Oops, it turns out you caught the wrong person! they are d4: 1 – extremely well connected 2 – actually someone you care about 3 – secretly a very nice person (if already nice – upgrade to devastatingly nice) 4 – only sort of human
4One of your fucking Acolytes read his Latin wrong! Imminently kill them and try again instead or d4 undercover stuntmen (or random encounter) appear
5The victim comes back as [dice] Threat ghost that really fucking hate you
6One of your fucking Acolytes is a double agent! for d4: 1 – the government, 2- Another Cult, 3 – Center for Applied Occultism Research and Eradication, 4 – Your cult, but from the future\alternate dimension

One thought on “SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES (Buckets of Blood class: Classical Cultist)

  1. This is is so good! There is so much good stuff! It’s so *frothy*. I greatly enjoy often you play someone/something else related to the character, it makes them feel very replaceable in a way that makes a whole lot of sense for someone so… fragie.


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